


Lost in the memory

by alysonv24



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 (TV) RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:01:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28169667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alysonv24/pseuds/alysonv24
Summary: Midnight thought. I enjoy crackships so much that this does include Clarke/Gabriel because I think I’m the show it would have been a very interesting dynamic and they never explored it, just as with bellarke. But don’t misunderstand me this is a Bellarke endgame. I just felt like after Clarke woke up she acted freakishly like josephine and that was so weird to me. Also, I’m a sucker for love triangles sorry :(————————————————————————-Clarke came back to life, Bellamy had saved her once again. But just as she goes to sleep she dreams of a life that wasn’t hers, although she feels like it was. Most of her dreams are of him, a person she barely met after waking up, yet she feels like she’s know him forever. But then there’s Bellamy and her unsaid feelings for him, there’s also the worry of saving her friends at sanctum.*Canon season 6&7 divergent*
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin/Josephine Lightbourne/Gabriel Santiago | Xavier, Clarke Griffin & Gabriel Santiago | Xavier, Josephine Lightbourne/Gabriel Santiago | Xavier
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Lost in the memory

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyy, i haven’t written fics in a while so please bear with me, and this is based on my crackship so sorry if you don’t like it, I am a bellarke stan though. Hope u guys like it :)

Clarke Griffin had died. Josephine had killed her in the mind space, she had won. Clarke wanted to live, she had been so tired but she really wanted to live, it wasn’t supposed to end like this. She fell to her knees defeated, thinking that she would never hear Madi’s laugh ever again, or see the smile she wanted to see most in the world, she’d never get to see the most important people in her life. As she started to fade into nothing Clarke heard the one voice she thought she would never hear again. _“You’re a fighter, now get up and fight!”_   
She felt a sudden strength awaken within her. She threw the axe at Josephine and saw how she disappeared forever. For a moment they were friends and in a twisted kind of way she wanted Josephine to live, but she knew that in this moment it was her or Josephine, Josephine had made a choice, so Clarke had too.   
Everything went dark, and then suddenly there was a bright light. She opened her eyes and saw chocolate eyes staring into hers, he had saved her, once again. She breathed in and immediately hugged Bellamy as hard as she could, if she let go she was afraid she’d never see him again. That Josephine would come back and steal her body once more. “The heart and the head, the heart and the head” she repeated the mantra as Bellamy nodded and hugged her tighter, she closed her eyes and relished in the feeling of being in his arms again. She didn’t know how long they stayed in each other’s arms and she didn’t care.   
A long time after she opened her eyes and saw Octavia, the last time she’d seen her Bellamy had banished Octavia from sanctum, but Octavia looked genuinely happy to see Clarke and Clarke felt the same way about Octavia, she was ready to put the past behind her and forgive her for what she tried to do to Madi. Clarke let go of Bellamy and Octavia walked over to her, she saw the hesitation in her eyes but Clarke pulled her into a fierce hug without saying anything, she felt there was nothing to say, or probably too much. Octavia seemed surprised but she hugged Clarke back nonetheless. When they pulled apart from each other Octavia said, “I’m glad to see you, it seems like you went through a tough time.” Clarke nodded. “Understatement of the century, literally.”   
She looked at her surroundings and realized she didn’t know where she was, then she saw him. Gabriel. He couldn’t look at her, she figured it was because just a few hours ago she was Josephine. She extended her hand. “I’m Clarke, nice to meet you, I heard you kind of played a part in saving me.” He smiled sideways and Clarke couldn’t place what it was, but she felt like she had seen that smile before. She probably had seen it from Josephine’s memories, but she didn’t have the energy to try and remember. He took her extended hand. “Yeah kind of, I guess I owed it to you without knowing, I’m the reason the primes steal bodies in the first place.” “Uh yeah, Josephine showed me.” They let go of each other’s hands and he looked sad at the loss of Josephine. Clarke didn’t know why, but she felt sad too. He quickly hid his sadness and changed to an expression of wonder.

“If you let me I’d like to pick your brain and see how the neural mesh worked, of course when you’re feeling up to it.”   
“Sure.”   
  
Clarke turned back to Bellamy who had never stopped staring at her like she was going to disappear in any second. He took her hand in his.   
“Clarke, I’m so sorry, I couldn’t protect you.” She hugged him tight again, she didn’t have to forgive him because there was nothing to forgive, she was here now and he saved her. She was so grateful to Bellamy.   
“Please don’t say you’re sorry, you couldn’t have known Bellamy.” His eyes watered and she knew there were so many things he wanted to say, she wanted to say so many things too, but she felt so tired, her eyes started to droop and Bellamy noticed.

“You should sleep, you’ve had it rough.” Bellamy took her to a nearby bed and as she started to lie down she took Bellamy’s hand in an almost desperate gesture.

“Please don’t leave.” He squeezed her hand and for the first time in a long time, Clarke felt safe.   
“I could never leave you again.” As her eyes started to close those words echoed in her mind. ————————————————————————  
 _“Okay old man, last one’s ready” She looks over to a man staring at himself in the mirror as a song plays in the background.  
  
*You leapt from crumpling bridges watching cityscapes turn to dust* _

_She walks over to him and leans her head on his shoulder.  
“First few days are weird.” She smiles but he doesn’t. He looks defeated as he says, “I didn’t ask for this.”_

_“I know. But I couldn’t lose you, Gabriel.”  
_

_Gabriel. She gets it, she’s dreaming about Josephine’s memories as if they were her own. Why? Did being in the same body cause Josephine’s memories to become hers? She feels her hand pull him to the middle of the room. She puts her arms around his neck as he puts his hands on her waist. To Clarke’s surprise, it feels nice. Their foreheads touch and Clarke feels content, but she’s not sure if she’s the one who feels that or if it’s because she knows that’s how Josephine felt._

_*Got the music in you, baby, tell me why*_

_She smiles and closes her eyes as they both sway to the music. Gabriel leans his head against her shoulder and she knows that he doesn’t feel right about having a new body. She knows that this bliss was momentary and that soon they would be at odds about getting to live forever taking other people’s bodies. She leans away and pats his cheek gently. “Hey hey, this new body’s got some rhythm.” He looks miserable._

_*You’ve been locked in here forever and you just can’t say goodbye*_

_She takes his face in her hands and presses a gentle kiss to his mouth. She leans back to look at him for a moment and sees the same thing she’s feeling in his eyes. So she kisses him again, a little longer this time until he leans back looking miserable once again. Her heart breaks at the sadness that he sees in his eyes and that she fortunately -or unfortunately- doesn’t feel.  
*Your lips, my lips, apocalypse* _

_“We can’t do this forever.” She smiles._

_“Why not? It’s how long I’ll love you for.”  
_

_*Come on haunt me, I know you want me*_

_And their lips come together once again, gentle but passionate nonetheless, all of the hurt and the guilt left for another day because they’re not ready to talk about it yet. Content to be in each other’s arms, if just for a little while._   
  
Clarke feels overwhelmed because she knows she’s not the one kissing Gabriel but at the same she feels like she is. Like these memories are hers. She gets the sudden thought that maybe Josephine is still alive and took control of her once again. Panic starts to rise up in her chest and she feels as if the world starts crumbling under her. Just as she feels her throat starting to close up, she wakes up.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any comments or feedback don’t hesitate to comment, as I mentioned I haven’t done fics in a while so suggestions are welcomed :) thank you!


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